:( / :)

I consider myself a pretty optimistic person. Definitely not to an extreme, and hopefully not annoyingly so—but I think there's importance in trying to find "the good" in all people/situations/events. Sure, some things in life suck, and obviously it's important to recognize that, too. But even in the things that do seem terrible, I try to find their merit as part of my "life experience."

But despite all that, lately, I am sad. Am I allowed to say it? Most of the time, I feel like sadness is something I'm supposed to cover up behind a constantly upbeat attitude and a teethy smile. But is it so terrible to just admit it sometimes?

I think the sadness that I have is a very anti-climactic one; it just kind of lingers under the surface of day-to-day events, only to force its way up every once in a while. But it's definitely there. And I can't exactly pinpoint where it stems from, or how long it's been trying so hard to defeat my spirits. Maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe I'm reaching that quarter-life crisis where I feel forced to face the realization that I'm a 23-year-old college graduate who still has no idea where my life is going. Maybe it's caused by too much reflection of the past year or two of my life, during which I've been challenged in a lot of ways (but that's life, right?). Maybe (and perhaps the most likely, though superficial, reason) it's the weather. Three days of sunshine aren't quite enough to get me through another month of shuffling through the snow and ice.

This isn't to say that there aren't times when I'm genuinely happy. Obviously my life has been filled with a lot of great people, great opportunities, and I certainly have more than I need—not to mention more than most people have. Maybe that's why I feel guilty whenever I start to acknowledge that I'm not completely happy or content. I'm guessing, though, that insincere happiness is not the best solution.

So here's to a little more transparency. I wish I could offer a little more resolution or analysis along with it, but for now, that's all I've got.